小學生英語幽默故事一：
Tom is a little boy, and he is only seven years old. Once he goes to a cinema. It is the first time for him to do that. He buys a ticket and goes in. But after two or three minutes he comes out, and buys the second ticket and goes in again. After a few minutes he comes out again and buys the third ticket. Two or three minutes after that he comes out and asks for another ticket. But a girl asks him,“Why do you buy so many tickets? How many friends do you meet?” “No, I have no friends here, but a big woman always stops me at the door and cuts up my ticket.”
湯姆是個小孩， 他才7歲。 當他去電影院的時候。那時他第一次去。他買了張票進去了。 但沒過兩三分鐘他就出來了，然后買了第二張票又進去了。 幾分鐘后他又出來買了第三張票。 接著兩三分鐘后他又出來買票。 一個女的問她，“你為什么要買那么多票啊? 你見到了幾個朋友?" "沒有， 我里面沒朋友， 但是每當我進門的時候一位大的女人老把我的票給剪了"
小學生英語幽默故事二：
Child:My uncle has 1000 men under him.
Man:He is really somebody.What does do?
Child:A maintenance man in a cemetery
他真是一個大人物
小孩：我叔叔下面有1000個人。
男人：他真是一個大人物。他是干什么的?
小孩：墓地守墓人。
小學生英語幽默故事三：
Teacher: Would Shakespeare be a great man if he were still alive today?
Student: Of course. He must be a great man, for so far nobody has lived to over 400 years.
一名偉人
老師：如果莎士比亞還活著，他會是一名偉人嗎?
學生：當然。因為到目前為止，還沒有人活到400多歲。
小學生英語幽默故事四：
Mr. Smith: Waiter, there's a dead fly in my soup.
Waiter: Yes, sir, I know---it's the heat that kills it.
史密斯先生：服務員，我的湯里有一只死蒼蠅.
服務員：是的，先生，我知道了，它是被燙死的.
小學生英語幽默故事五：
Son: Dad, give me a dime.
Father: Son, don't you think you're getting too big to be forever begging for dimes?
Son: I guess you're right, Dad, Give me a dollar, will you?
兒子：爸爸，給我一角錢。
父親：兒子，你不認為你已經長大了，不該再老是一角一角地要錢了(該自立了)，不是嗎?
兒子：爸爸，我想你是對的，那給我一塊錢行嗎?
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