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Arnold Bennett

A most curious and useful thing to realize is that one never knows the impression one is creating on other people. One may often guess pretty accurately whether it is good, bad, or indifferent --- some people render it unnecessary for one to guess, they practically inform one --- but that is not what I mean. I mean much more than that. I mean that one has one’s self no mental picture corresponding to the mental picture which one’s personality leaves in the minds of one’s friends. Has it ever struck you that there is a mysterious individual going around, walking the streets, calling at houses for tea, chatting, laughing, grumbling, arguing, and that all your friends know him --- without saying more than a chance, cautious word to you; and that that person is you? Supposing that you came into a drawing-room where you were having tea, do you think you would recognize yourself as an individuality? I think not. You would be apt to say to yourself as guests do when disturbed in drawing-rooms by other guests: “Who’s this chap? Seems rather queer. I hope he won’t be a bore.” And your first telling would be slightly hostile. Why, even when you meet yourself in an unsuspected mirror in the very clothes that you have put on that very day and that you know by heart, you are almost always shocked by the realization that you are you. And now and then, when you have gone to the glass to arrange your hair in the full sobriety of early morning, have you not looked on an absolute stranger, and has not that stranger piqued your curiosity? And if it is thus with precise external details of form, colour, and movement, what may it not be with the vague complex effect of the mental and moral individuality?

A man honestly tries to make a good impression. What is the result? The result merely is that his friends, in the privacy of their minds, set him down as a man who tries to make a good impression. If much depends on the result of a single interview, or a couple of interviews, a man may conceivably force another to accept an impression of himself which he would like to convey. But if the receiver of the impression is to have time at his disposal, then the giver of the impression may just as well sit down and put his hands in his pockets, for nothing that he can do will modify or influence in any way the impression that he will ultimately give. The real impress is, in the end, given unconsciously, not consciously; and further, it is received unconsciously, not consciously. It depends partly on both persons. And it is immutably fixed beforehand. There can be no final deception…

自我的展現(xiàn)

阿諾德.本涅特

一個(gè)人永遠(yuǎn)也不知道他給別人留有什么樣的印象，明白這點(diǎn)是有益的，也是讓人覺得奇怪的。一個(gè)人很容易準(zhǔn)確猜出這種印象是好的、壞的，還是不好不壞的，因?yàn)橛行┤俗屇悴挥萌ゲ拢麄儙缀踔苯泳透嬖V你了。但那不是我要說的，我要說的不止這些。我要說的是，一個(gè)人對他在別人腦子里留有的印象毫無所知。你曾想過這樣的事嗎：有個(gè)神秘的人，到處閑逛，走在大街上，去茶館喝茶，和人聊天，談笑風(fēng)生，發(fā)牢騷，與人爭辯，你所有的朋友都認(rèn)識他，都與他很熟，而且對他是什么樣的人早下了定論，但除了一兩次謹(jǐn)慎的只言片語外，他們從未對你提過他，但這個(gè)人就是你?假如“你”走進(jìn)一個(gè)休息室，你正在里面喝茶，你會認(rèn)出那個(gè)人是“你”嗎?我想不會。你或許會對自己說，正如休息室里被人打擾的客人一樣： “這個(gè)家伙是誰?挺讓人不舒服的，希望他不要討人嫌。”你的第一反應(yīng)會是帶有點(diǎn)敵意。甚至當(dāng)你自己在一面突然撞見的鏡子里看到自己穿著那件你非常熟悉的衣服，從而你意識到那就是你自己時(shí)，你為何總會為這種念頭而感到幾乎震驚呢?時(shí)常，在清晨很清醒的時(shí)候，你在鏡子前梳頭，你是否看到了一個(gè)完全陌生的人，而且對他很好奇呢?如果說諸如形象、顏色、動作這些精確的外觀細(xì)節(jié)都會讓你感到這樣，更不用說像精神、道德這樣不易把握的、復(fù)雜的個(gè)性特征所形成的印象呢?

一個(gè)人極力試圖給別人留下好印象，結(jié)果如何呢?結(jié)果僅僅是，他的朋友們在內(nèi)心里會把他看作是一個(gè)努力給別人留有好印象的人罷了。如果僅僅是一次或幾次會面，一個(gè)人也許可以使別人信服地接受他所期望展現(xiàn)出來的印象，可是如果接受者可以隨意安排他的時(shí)間來認(rèn)識這個(gè)人的話，那么印象制造者最好還是坐下來，什么事情都不做，因?yàn)樗麩o論如何都無法改變或影響他所最終給別人的印象。真實(shí)的印象，最終不是刻意地而是無意地做出的。此外，它也不是刻意地而是無意地被接收的，它取決于雙方。而且是事先就已經(jīng)確定了的，是沒辦法欺騙到底的……

阿諾德.本涅特(1867-1931), 本世紀(jì)初期英國著名小說家、散文家。他的文風(fēng)受法國自然主義風(fēng)格影響較深，行文冷靜客觀