“bicycle”作者的思路是清晰的，但表達不明確，會造成結構混亂的感覺，因此在雅思寫作中應采用“Why cycle”模式。下面分別列舉范文說明中式思維與英式思維的不同之處。
中式思維范文--bicycle（摘自網上雅思考生的習作）
Bicycles have become more and more popular in China. People ride bikes to their work places, to shopping areas, to schools, and so on. During the rush hours, you can often see a boiling sea of bicycles running in all directions. With the largest number of bike riders in the world, China is often referred to as the kingdom of bicycles.（主題句不明顯，不知道作者想要說什么：自行車越來越流行，要討論流行趨勢？自行車那么多，要討論自行車對城市的影響？中國是自行車王國，要討論中國的自行車歷史？）
Compared with cars, bikes have many advantages（這應該是主題句，在這么短的文章里應該放在第一段）. First, they are not very expensive, and almost every family can afford them. （這句話分成2個句子比較好，一句是key point,一句做進一步解釋）Second, they are very handy and convenient though they are not so fast as cars. With a bike, you can go anywhere you like, and you don’t have to look for a large parking place. By riding bikes, you can avoid traffic jams and thus save the time and the money for taking taxis（同第一點一樣，但這一點思路有些亂）. Third, they do not cause air or sound pollution（?? Riding bikes does good to your health if you ride it regularly（這應該是文章要論述的第四點，但沒有連接詞，又分了段，打亂了文章的整體結構）. In modern times, people are usually too busy to spare any time for physical exercise. Riding a bike to your work place regularly serves as a good way to keep yourself strong and healthy. （2個句子的順序換一下比較好。因為前面已經說了有益于健康，讀者等著聽解釋，但作者卻換了話題。第一句話應該是第二句話的原因。）
Therefore, a bicycle is really an important means of transportation in China. It has been very useful, convenient and necessary ever since it was invented. And I do believe it will still be so in the future.（結論態度不鮮明，沒有緊扣主題句。 應該重述四個優點，然后給出結論。）
英式思維范文——Why cycle？
There are many good reasons to cycle. （第一句話就是主題句，西方人的習慣）Cycling is the most efficient means of getting around London.（好處之一） Many journeys we make are shorter than two miles or less and these are usually faster on a cycle than travelling by car, bus, tube, train or taxi.（進一步解釋，加強說服力）。Not only is cycling good for you, it is also fun and available to all（好處之二）. It is a chance to get out of the house or workplace, to be active and to be sociable（解釋）. Getting a bike needn't be expensive and upkeep is low cost and easy. （好處之三，這三個好處只是泛泛說明，一般是前面的論點比后面的更重要，所以句子一個比一個短。）
Save money（開始論述第一點）
Using a bike to replace your regular form of transport is a great way to save money. （主句，符合論點）It's well documented that cycling is the best value way to travel around London（引用統計結果，有絕對說服力） . Compared to cars, bicycles are much cheaper to buy and maintain, and you don't have all the added costs of fuel, Vehicle Excise Duty and parking.（比較法，舉例說明怎樣省錢）
Save time（論點二）
For a typical London journey, cycling is faster than the car, public transport, taxis or walking（主句，符合論點）. Remember that cycling is a door to door service. On a bicycle you can easily cover five miles in half an hour and be confident that you'll arrive on time（解釋如何省時間）. Car or bus journeys take longer and depend on traffic, or irregular bus services（搭汽車時間長，從反面解釋騎自行車省時間）. For longer trips, you can combine bike and public transport: leaving your bike at the station or sometimes taking it on the train/tube at off-peak times. See the LCC information booklet "Transporting Your Bicycle" for further information.（進一步解釋，幫你解決你有可能遇到的問題，打消你欲辯論的想法。）
Become healthier（論點三）
Cycling is an excellent way to get fit and live longer. （主句，符合論點）By riding a bike you'll be incorporating exercise into your daily life. Remember that to stay healthy you need 30 minutes of exercise per day: that 15 minute cycle to work is the perfect prescription for losing weight and getting fit.（解釋?？跉獠皇钦f教，而像是你的保健顧問，說服力強。）
By cycling you cut down your risk of heart attacks, high blood pressure and other illnesses. The benefits, says the British Medical Association, far outweigh any risks associated with cycling.（論據二）
By getting fitter and escaping the frustrations of traffic jams and tube and train delays you will also reduce your stress levels and enjoy your day more. （論據三）
It has been shown that by cycling you will breathe fewer fumes than those in cars or buses, so are less likely to suffer from respiratory diseases.（論據四）
更多信息請查看留學英語寫作
版權所有:易賢網
公眾號
事業單位
當前位置：
公考類
招聘類
各類考試