love you not because of who you are, but because of who I am when I am with you.
我愛你，不是因為你是一個怎樣的人，而是因為我喜歡與你在一起時的感覺。
No man or woman is worth your tears, and the one who is, won‘t make you cry.
沒有人值得你流淚，值得讓你這么做的人不會讓你哭泣。
The worst way to miss someone is to be sitting right beside them knowing you can‘t have them.
失去某人，最糟糕的莫過于，他近在身旁，卻猶如遠在天邊。
Never frown, even when you are sad, because you never know who is falling in love with your smile.
縱然傷心，也不要愁眉不展，因為你不知是誰會愛上你的笑容。
To the world you may be one person, but to one person you may be the world.
對于世界而言，你是一個人;但是對于某個人，你是他的整個世界。
Don‘t waste your time on a man/woman, who isn‘t willing to waste their time on you.
不要為那些不愿在你身上花費時間的人而浪費你的時間。
Just because someone doesn‘t love you the way you want them to, doesn‘t mean they don‘t love you with all they have.
愛你的人如果沒有按你所希望的方式來愛你，那并不代表他們沒有全心全意地愛你。
Don‘t try so hard, the best things come when you least expect them to.
不要著急，最好的總會在最不經意的時候出現。
Maybe God wants us to meet a few wrong people before meeting the right one, so that when we finally meet the person, we will know how to be grateful.
在遇到夢中人之前，上天也許會安排我們先遇到別的人;在我們終于遇見心儀的人時，便應當心存感激。
Don‘t cry because it is over, smile because it happened.
不要因為結束而哭泣，微笑吧，為你的曾經擁有.
1、I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn't work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.
開始我直接求上帝賜輛自行車。 后來我琢磨上帝辦事兒不是這個路數。 于是老子偷了一輛然后求上帝寬恕。
2、I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather.. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.
我希望能像爺爺那樣，安靜地在睡夢中死去…… 而不是要像他開的車上那些慘叫滴乘客一樣死法啊!
3、Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.
你永遠不能戰勝一個純SB,因為他會把你的智商拉到跟他個水平,然后用豐富的經驗打敗你
4、The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it's still on the list.
翻譯器直譯：在這個世界上,我最不愿意做的事就是傷害你,但是這件事仍在我的考慮之列。
意譯a：我真不想傷害你，但你也別逼我。
意譯b：吾雖不殺伯仁，伯仁由我而死。
5、If sex is a pain in the ass, then you're doing it wrong...
a. 如覺嘿咻乃屁眼不能承受之痛，那是你操錯洞...
b. 若XXOO是下體的痛，那么，是你操錯。
6、The early bird might get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
a. 早起滴小鳥有蟲蟲!晚到的老鼠有奶酪!
b. 早起的鳥兒有蟲吃，早起的蟲兒被鳥吃。
7、We live in a society where pizza gets to your house before the police.
在咱們這噶噠送外賣的都比警察來的快.
8、Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand.
XXOO就象打橋牌。 如果對手不好使，自己的手必須好使。
9、 Some people are like Slinkies ... not really good for anything, but you can't help smiling when you see one tumble down the stairs.
有些人就像 Slinkies (彈簧玩具)，沒什么實在用處，但看他們在樓梯上倒騰來搗騰去還是很有喜感。
10、Politicians and diapers have one thing in common. They should both be changed regularly, and for the same reason.
政客和紙尿布有一個共同點就是：他們都很有規律地被替換，而且因為同一個理由——臟了!!
11、War does not determine who is right - only who is left.
戰爭不能決出正義，但能判出哪方出局。
12、Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake a whole relationship
.
a. 女人的高潮可能是裝出來的。但是男人TMD可以整段感情都是裝出來的!
b. 女人假裝高潮以獲取真實的感情;男人假裝感情以獲取真實的高潮。
13、We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public.
我們永遠不可能真正的成熟，我們只是學會在眾人面前裝逼。
14、Men have two emotions: Hungry and Horny. If you see him without an erection, make him a sandwich.
男人就兩種狀態：餓 和 性饑渴。 要是他不硬，就給他個三明治!
15、Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
光總是比聲音跑的快點....這就是為嘛有些SB只有在開口說話之后你才發現他是在裝B...
16、My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a-bitch.
我媽每次對著我罵草泥馬的時候都沒看出其中笑點。
17、I thought I wanted a career, turns out I just wanted paychecks.
曾以為我想要的是職業，結果發現我只是想要工資。
18、If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of payments.
你要是覺得沒人在乎你的死活,那你不妨嘗試一下跟你的債主玩躲貓貓~~
19、Sex is not the answer. Sex is the question. "Yes" is the answer.
XXOO并不是結論而是個問題...爽不爽才是答案...
20、Evening news is where they begin with 'Good evening', and then proceed totell you why it isn't.
晚間新聞總是以“晚上好”開頭，再告訴你你為什么好不了。
21、How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire?
直譯：一根火柴能點著整片森林，一盒火柴也生不起個營火，這咋回事!
意譯：想當年哥戴套都能讓人懷孕，看今朝叔竟然去看男科
22、If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrhea... does that mean that one enjoys it?
如果4/5的人在忍受腹瀉的痛苦，那剩下1/5咋回事?很享受嗎?
23、Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.
翻譯器直譯：知識就是說你知道西紅柿是一種水果;智慧就好似不要把它放進水果沙拉里。
意譯a：知識就是告訴你說應該把雞蛋放進籃子，智慧則是叫你不要把所有雞蛋都放進一個籃子。
意譯b:所謂知識就是知道韓少和小四都屬于80后，但智慧告訴你這終還是男女有別~
24、If God is watching us, the least we can do is be entertaining.
上帝瞅著咱們呢，大伙好歹喜感點吧!
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