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Like most people, I suppose, I try to avoid seeming like a jerk.

我想，和大多數(shù)人一樣，我試著讓自己不要看上去像個(gè)混蛋。

Here are some strategies I try to use:

下面是一些我會(huì)用到的方法：

1. Offer meaningful compliments.

1.說(shuō)一些有意義的贊美。

Emphasis on the "meaningful." I try to say things like, “You have a good memory” or “You obviously know a lot about this subject.” Empty, automatic compliments like “Great tie!” don’t count.

重點(diǎn)在有意義上。我試著說(shuō)一些這樣的話：“你記性真好”或者“你顯然對(duì)這個(gè)問(wèn)題非常了解。”空洞且不假思索的贊美，譬如“這條領(lǐng)帶不錯(cuò)”，完全沒(méi)任何意義。

2. Give credit to others.

2.歸功于他人。

“The team did all the work,” “Pat came up with this idea.” Being generous with giving credit does not minimize your contribution.“

是大家完成了所有工作，”“Pat想出了這個(gè)主意。”大方地將功勞歸功于別人并不會(huì)減少你的貢獻(xiàn)。

3. Ask questions and allow others to supply information.

3.提問(wèn)并讓他人回答。

I’ve seen good leaders ask questions to which they knew the answers, merely to allow others the chance to demonstrate what they know. This is a challenge for me. I find it hard to ask for help, to say, “I don’t know,” or keep quiet while others respond.

我見(jiàn)到過(guò)一些好的領(lǐng)導(dǎo)者會(huì)問(wèn)一些已經(jīng)知道答案的問(wèn)題，僅僅是為了讓其他人有機(jī)會(huì)說(shuō)話。這對(duì)我是一個(gè)挑戰(zhàn)。找別人幫忙，回答“我不懂”，或者在別人作答時(shí)保持安靜對(duì)我來(lái)說(shuō)都挺難的。

4. Admit error!

4.承認(rèn)錯(cuò)誤!

It’s so hard to say “You were right, I was wrong” or “This was my fault,” but so important. Also, it’s a key to leadership. As my father once told me, “If you’ll take responsibility for failure, you’ll be given responsibility for decisions.”

說(shuō)“你是對(duì)的，我是錯(cuò)的”或者“這是我的錯(cuò)”非常難，但卻非常重要。而且，承認(rèn)錯(cuò)誤也是領(lǐng)導(dǎo)力的關(guān)鍵。我爸爸有次對(duì)我說(shuō)，“如果你能對(duì)失敗負(fù)責(zé)，那么你將能被委以重任。“

5. Remember other people’s names and some details of their lives.

5.記住他人的名字及一些生活細(xì)節(jié)。

How many times have you heard people complain that “So-and-so has met me five times, but never remembers me”? It hurts people’s feelings.

有多少次你聽(tīng)到別人抱怨道“某某人都見(jiàn)了我5次了，還記不住我的名字”。這都是在傷害別人的感情。

6. Call on others for their specific contributions.

6.邀請(qǐng)他人提供看法。

“Pat is our expert on that,” “Lee, what do you think?”“

Pat是這方面的專家，”“Lee，你怎么看?”

7. Teasing.

7.逗人開(kāi)心。

One way of showing fellow feeling is teasing people – gently. People liked to be joshed, but not about anything sensitive.

有一種與人打成一片的方式就是禮貌地和別人開(kāi)玩笑。人們喜歡開(kāi)玩笑，只要不是敏感的話題。

8. Remember your limits.

8.記住你不是萬(wàn)能的。

You’re just one person. You’re not infallible. It actually is possible that you’re wrong.

你只是一個(gè)普通人。你不可能永遠(yuǎn)正確。有些時(shí)候很有可能錯(cuò)的就是你。

9. Don’t be a bore.

9.不要做一個(gè)無(wú)趣的人。

Don't assume that others are as interested in the minutiae of your life as you are.

不要假設(shè)別人和你一樣，對(duì)你生活的瑣事感興趣。

10.Be courteous to others, no matter who they are.

10.不管對(duì)方是誰(shuí)，都要禮貌相待。

William Lyon Phelps wrote, “The final test of a gentleman is his respect for those who can be of no possible service to him.” It's important to be nice to everyone.

威廉-利昂-菲爾普斯(美國(guó)教育家，文學(xué)評(píng)論家和演說(shuō)家，耶魯大學(xué)教授與學(xué)者)曾經(jīng)寫道：這是對(duì)君子的一項(xiàng)決定性的實(shí)驗(yàn)：他是否尊重對(duì)自己可能毫無(wú)用處的人。對(duì)每個(gè)人都要友好，這一點(diǎn)很重要。