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From observations of successful people, clinical psychologist and author of Never Go Back: 10 Things You'll Never Do Again (Howard Books, June 2014), Dr. Henry Cloud has discovered certain “awakenings” that people have—in life and in business—that once they have them, they never go back to the old way of doing things. And when that happens, they are never the same.

臨床心理學(xué)家以及《絕不回頭：10件你永遠(yuǎn)不會再做的事情》的作者亨利·克勞德，通過對成功人士的觀察，發(fā)現(xiàn)了生活和工作帶給人們的一些“教訓(xùn)”，一旦人們吸取了這些教訓(xùn)，就絕對不會再重蹈覆轍。即使同樣的事情發(fā)生了，他們也會以不同于以往的方式來處理。

Although life and business have many lessons to teach us, Dr. Cloud observed 10 “doorways” of learning that high performers go through, never to return again.

雖然生活和工作帶給我們的教訓(xùn)有很多，但是克勞德教授為我們總結(jié)出了成功人士經(jīng)歷并吸取的10個教訓(xùn)。

Successful people never again…

以下就是成功的人絕對不會再做的10件事：

1. Return to what hasn’t worked. Whether a job, or a broken relationship that was ended for a good reason, we should never go back to the same thing, expecting different results, without something being different.

1.不吃回頭草。不管是工作還是感情，結(jié)束了就是結(jié)束了，我們都不要再回頭，不要期望一些改變能帶來不同的結(jié)果。

2. Do anything that requires them to be someone they are not. In everything we do, we have to ask ourselves, “Why am I doing this? Am I suited for it? Does it fit me? Is it sustainable?”If the answer is no to any of these questions, you better have a very good reason to proceed.

2.不做不適合自己的事情。我們在做任何事的時候都要問自己：“我為什么要這么做?我適合做這件事么?這件事適合我做么?這件事能夠持續(xù)下去么?”如果有任何一個問題的答案是否定的，那你最好再想一個繼續(xù)做這件事的更好的理由。

3. Try to change another person. When you realize that you cannot force someone into doing something, you give him or her freedom and allow them to experience the consequences. In doing so, you find your own freedom as well.

3.不會嘗試改變他人。當(dāng)意識到你不可能強迫他人做事情時，你就給了他人做事以及自己承擔(dān)事情后果的自由。而與此同時，你也讓自己獲得了自由。

4. Believe they can please everyone. Once you get that it truly is impossible to please everyone, you begin to live purposefully, trying to please the right people.

4.不相信自己能取悅所有人。一旦你明白了你不可能取悅所有的人，你的生活就會更有目標(biāo)，你會努力取悅那些應(yīng)該取悅的人。

5. Choose short-term comfort over long-term benefit. Once successful people know they want something that requires a painful, time-limited step, they do not mind the painful step because it gets them to a long-term benefit.

5.不會為了暫時的享受而犧牲長久的利益。成功的人在知道自己得到想要的東西之前需要先經(jīng)歷痛苦時，他們不會因此退縮，因為他們清楚痛苦是暫時的，從中得到的益處是長久的。

6. Trust someone or something that appears flawless. When someone or something looks too good to be true, he, she, or it is. The world is imperfect. No one and no thing is without flaw, and if they appear that way, hit pause.

6.不相信世界是完美無瑕的。如果有些人或物看起來完美到不真實的地步的話，那么他或她或它就一定有什么問題。這個世界就是不完美的。沒有人或物是完美無暇的，如果有就一定得多留意。

7. Take their eyes off the big picture. We function better emotionally and perform better in our lives when we can see the big picture. For successful people, no one event is ever the whole story.

7.不會鼠目寸光。如果我們看待事情能夠更長遠(yuǎn)、更宏觀，我們就能在生活中表現(xiàn)得更好。對于成功的人來說，任何事都不能只看眼前。

8. Neglect to do due diligence. No matter how good something looks on the outside, it is only by taking a deeper, diligent, and honest look that we will find out what we truly need to know: the reality that we owe ourselves.

8.不對任何事掉以輕心。不管事物的外表看起來有多么好，我們都必須從更深層、更真實的一面去看待，這樣才能找到我們真正想要知道的東西。

9. Fail to ask why they are where they find themselves. One of the biggest differences between successful people and others is that in love and in life, in relationships and in business, successful people always ask themselves, what part am I playing in this situation? Said another way, they do not see themselves only as victims, even when they are.

9.不會忘記發(fā)揮自己的作用。成功人士與其他人最大的一個不同之處在于，不管是在戀愛和生活中，還是在人際交往和生意場上，成功的人會不斷問自己，我的作用是什么?換句話說，對成功的人來說，即使他們是真正的受害者，他們也從不把自己當(dāng)做受害者。

10. Forget that their inner life determines their outer success. The good life sometimes has little to do with outside circumstances. We are happy and fulfilled mostly by who we are on the inside. Research validates that.

10.不會忘記是內(nèi)心世界決定了外在的成功。優(yōu)質(zhì)的生活有時與外在的處境毫無關(guān)系。我們感到幸福和充實，很大一不部分原因在于我們的內(nèi)在感受。研究也證實了這點。

Everyone makes mistakes…even the most successful people out there. But, what achievers do better than others is recognize the patterns that are causing those mistakes and never repeat them again. In short, they learn from pain—their own and the pain of others.

每個人都可能犯錯，即使是最成功的人。但是成功人士強于他人之處在于懂得吸取教訓(xùn)并避免再犯。總之，成功的人是從自己和他人的教訓(xùn)中學(xué)到東西的人。