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When have you done something that changed your life? Maybe a class you took. Maybe practicing something. Maybe working with a mentor.

你，什么時候做過改變自己人生的事?或許是你修過的一門課，或許是練習(xí)某項(xiàng)技能，或許是和一位導(dǎo)師一起工作。

It happened to me studying to become a professional coach. The work had an immense and positive impact on my entire life; changing how I see and live in the world. The tools and methodology enabled me to become an expert at the coaching process. But, even more important I learned this: Coaching is not just training. It is a way to live your life.

對我而言，答案是成為職業(yè)顧問。這項(xiàng)工作對我的整個人生有了深刻積極的影響，改變了我的人生觀和生活方式。學(xué)到的工具和方法論使我精于教練過程的專家。但是，更重要的是，我學(xué)到了這點(diǎn)：教練不只是訓(xùn)練，更是一種生活方式。

What I now teach, I strive to live; to be the same person coaching as I am when I'm not. It's "walking the walk... talking the talk." Integrity. Wholeness. Authenticity.

現(xiàn)在我所教的，都親身實(shí)踐;如果我還沒做到，就會努力成為自己教別人要去成為的那個人。常言道“做歸做…說歸說”。要做一個正直，全面，真實(shí)的人。

1. Hold the client's agenda

尊重客戶的議程

Coaches assist you to get what you want. We always focus on your choices. We never decide what is best for a client.

教練幫助你得到你想要的。我們總是把客戶的選擇項(xiàng)放在首要，而不是替客戶決定什么是最好的選擇。

Who you are and what you want is your agenda. You have goals, hopes, dreams and intentions, and it's our job to help you meet them. We honor your values and assist you to be true to them.

你是誰，想要什么?這就是你作為客戶的議程。你有目標(biāo)，希望，夢想和意圖，而我們的工作就是幫助你實(shí)現(xiàn)這些。我們尊重你的價值，并幫你實(shí)現(xiàn)它們。

Having an open mind, being non-judgmental is critical in coaching.

有開放的心態(tài)，不主觀評判，在職業(yè)教練這行是非常重要的。

2. Detached involvement

能夠超然事外

Detaching has purpose, because even while you're intensely involved and empathetic with your clients life and questions, you remain totally open and objective.

這種超然事外是有目的的。這樣一來，即使當(dāng)你站在客戶的角度，設(shè)身處地去思考他們的生活和問題時，你仍然能完全開放和客觀地看待。

Empathy allows you to connect emotionally with people. It's not sympathy, where you feel sorry for someone, instead you feel with them.

設(shè)身處地為客戶著想，將你和他人于情感上連接起來。這不是為某人惋惜的同情之心，而是和他人一起感受他們的感覺。

3. Three levels of listening

三個層次的傾聽

Listening takes practice. It's at the center of all the transformations that take place in coaching.

傾聽是需要練習(xí)的。這是教練過程中所有轉(zhuǎn)變的核心。

a. Subjective everyday listening, where you relate what is being said only to yourself.

a. 主觀傾聽是我們每日在做的。這種情況下，你只聽到別人對你講的內(nèi)容。

b. Objective listening is deeper, with more focus on the other person.

b. 客觀傾聽則更深層次，更多的焦點(diǎn)放在他人身上。

c. Intuitive listening is the deepest, where you get to the heart of another person, using all your senses and instincts. It's the most valuable and powerful form of listening because it enables a trained coach to connect with you.

c. 直覺傾聽是最深層次的。這時，你用所有的感官和直覺，深觸他人內(nèi)心。這是最有價值、最具力量的傾聽形式，因?yàn)槁殬I(yè)教練可以和你在情感上接軌。

Listening is a simple act and when you trust your intuition, you'll hear -- the tones, silences and energy levels of that person.

傾聽是很簡單的動作。當(dāng)你相信直覺的時候，你會聽到另外一個人話語中的——語氣、沉默、和能量。

4. Get rid of judgment

去掉你個人的判斷

In classes, it seemed we worked with every life situation there is. Coaching couples, individuals, anger, joy, your inner critic, building confidence, questions of age, family, children, grief, work, religion, love, sex, money, business and the unknown.

在課堂上，我們看似處理過每種可能的生活情境。教導(dǎo)夫妻、個人、憤怒、欣喜、內(nèi)心的批判、建立自信和關(guān)于年齡、家庭、孩子、悲傷、工作、宗教、愛、性、金錢、商業(yè)和其他所有未知的問題。

It wasn't just practice, but an awakening to the urgent obligation we each have never to judge another human being. Never to see their choices as good/bad, right/wrong. Not to be biased, prejudiced or opinionated on how someone else lives their life.

那不只是練習(xí)，而是喚醒那種急需的義務(wù)——我們絕不能評判他人。不能評判他們的選擇是好/壞，對/錯。不能對他人怎樣生活存有偏見、成見或觀點(diǎn)。

This is what I mean when I say -- coaching is not just training, it's a way of life.

這就是我之前所講的——教練不只是訓(xùn)練，更是一種生活方式。

5. Breaking up blocks

找到內(nèi)在的阻力

When Tim Miller (name changed) started coaching, he was a successful CPA, out of work, and not sure what he wanted to do. He described himself as, " ...a financial failure, never amounting to much, lazy, an underachiever."Immediately we talked about his heckler or "gremlin," his inner voice that said: "Tim, you'll always be a failure."

當(dāng)?shù)倌?middot;米勒(化名)開始接受培訓(xùn)時，他曾是個成功的注冊會計師，工作之外，卻不清楚自己想做什么。他自我描述“…經(jīng)濟(jì)上一塌糊涂，從沒存過多少錢，很懶，差人一等。”之后我們馬上談到了他的負(fù)能量小人，在他內(nèi)心呼喊“蒂姆，你會一直失敗下去”的聲音。

Coaching blocks is one of the important tools used to help a client get unstuck, to see what limits their potential, undermining confidence and progress.

尋找內(nèi)在的阻力，是幫助客戶指點(diǎn)迷津最重要的方法之一。如此，客戶可以看到什么在限制他們的潛力、阻擋他們的自信和進(jìn)步。

Naming your "gremlin" helps take its power away.

找出你內(nèi)在的負(fù)能量小人吧!

6. Two different desires

兩種不同的欲望

Tim saw two forces working in him. One was catabolic -- negative, destructive and self-defeating.??The other was anabolic -- positive, constructive, empowering.

蒂姆看到了自己內(nèi)在的兩股力量。一股是阻礙的——負(fù)面的，破壞性的，自我挫敗的;另一股是促進(jìn)的——正面的，建設(shè)性的，賦予力量的。

This is Tim's true self, who he is at his best -- confident, innovative, happy, hardworking and successful.

蒂姆最好的狀態(tài)，才是真正的自己——自信、創(chuàng)新、快樂、刻苦且成功。

When you make conscious choices to be positive, you shift out of the low, negative energy of being a "poor me" victim -- to higher, more powerful levels of energy such as responsibility, concern, creativity and acceptance.

當(dāng)你有意識地積極起來時，你就走出了“可憐的我“的負(fù)能量區(qū)——到達(dá)了有力的高能量區(qū)，那兒有負(fù)責(zé)、關(guān)心、創(chuàng)新和接納等優(yōu)秀品質(zhì) 。

7. Keep challenging yourself?

不斷挑戰(zhàn)自己

Tim had spent seven days soul searching this question: What do you want to do? He had his answer. Tim wanted to run his own business -- creating training videos for professional massage therapists.

蒂姆曾花了七天時間來深究自己的靈魂：你想要做什么?他找到了答案。他想要自己做生意——為職業(yè)按摩師做培訓(xùn)錄像。

It was thrilling to hear his confidence, high energy, creative plans, commitment and joy. All of his past experience with photography, massage therapy, sales and business acumen fit in perfectly.

聽到他言語中的自信、正能量、創(chuàng)新計劃、承諾和欣喜，我非常激動。所有他過去的經(jīng)歷，攝影、按摩療法、銷售和商業(yè)敏銳性，都完美地結(jié)合在他新的規(guī)劃中。

Coaching challenged Tim to find an answer and, it was the complete opposite of failure mode.

職業(yè)教練讓蒂姆挑戰(zhàn)自我找到了答案。這是失敗完完全全的反面。

8. Coaches don't give advice

職業(yè)教練不給忠告

We don't tell people what to do. We help people take action. Tim did just that, drafting a two page, detailed business plan: Executive Summary; Business Description; The Market and Competition; Products and Services; Management and Personnel; Investment.

我們不告訴人們?nèi)プ鍪裁础Ｎ覀儙椭麄儾扇⌒袆印５倌氛沁@樣做的，他草擬了一份兩頁紙的詳細(xì)商業(yè)計劃：執(zhí)行綱要、商業(yè)描述、市場競爭、產(chǎn)品和服務(wù)、管理和人員配置、投資。

Michael: "If you're 100-percent clear on your purpose in opening this business, what does it do for you?"

麥克：“如果你百分百確定自己做這個生意的目標(biāo)，那么它能為你做什么?”

Tim: "I have focus, energy, direction. Purpose makes me strong and happy."

蒂姆：“我很專注，有精力，有方向。目標(biāo)讓我強(qiáng)大，讓我幸福。”

9. Dreams are real plans for success

夢想是真正的成功計劃

By our fourth and final coaching session, Tim had done a tremendous amount of work. He named his company, produced his first product and made money.

到我們的第四次和最后培訓(xùn)階段時，蒂姆已經(jīng)做了大量工作。他給公司起了名，做出了第一代產(chǎn)品，收獲了利潤。

Tim: "Well, it's not a lot of money."

蒂姆：“賺的錢并不多。”

Michael: "Sure there's more to do, but why not celebrate your success instead of complaining?"

麥克：“當(dāng)然有更多事情要做。不過，與其抱怨，為什么不去慶祝你的成功呢?”

He told me, "I'm good! I'm not quitting. I have vision and I'm optimistic."

他告訴我，“我很棒!我不要放棄。我有夢想，也很樂觀。”

10. Stretch yourself. Do more than you thought you could do

盡最大努力，超出自己想象的極限

Coaching is valuable, life increasing process. It promotes vision and purpose, builds happiness and success, enabling you to meet your dreams and potential.

職業(yè)引導(dǎo)是極具價值且讓生命更充實(shí)的過程。它提升夢想和目標(biāo)，建立幸福和成功，讓你接近夢想和潛力。

I stretched myself all over the place in coaching school. Learning new things that met and strengthened my core values -- how to be properly detached and vitally present, breaking through blocks and limiting beliefs, listening and not judging and trusting my intuition.

在培訓(xùn)學(xué)校的時候，我在很多方面都盡了自己最大的努力。學(xué)到了匹配和強(qiáng)化我核心價值觀的新東西——怎樣合適地超然事外而又充滿存在感，沖破阻礙和限制性的想法，傾聽但不主觀判斷，同時相信自己的直覺。

In a profound and completely surprising way, I discovered who I truly am -- a person who is passionate for helping people live magnificent lives and careers. Not mediocre. Not a bit above average. Not just better or okay. But an extraordinary life, full of rich diversity, honest feeling and clear purpose.

以一種深刻卻又完全出乎意料的方式，我找到了真實(shí)的自己——一個對幫助他人實(shí)現(xiàn)宏偉生活和事業(yè)藍(lán)圖充滿激情的人。不要平庸，超過平均標(biāo)準(zhǔn)不止一點(diǎn)點(diǎn)，不只是好些或者還行。我要非凡的人生，充滿豐富的多樣性，誠實(shí)的感覺和清晰的目標(biāo)。