英語四級作文題目： "Women in the Modern World"
英語四級作文提綱：
1. Women are playing an increasingly1 important part in society today.________
2. With the changes in their social role, women's position in the family has been improved as well. ______
3. In spite2 of these changes, the liberation3 of women has not been completely4 realized. __
例1． （2分段）
??Women are playing an increasingly important part in society today. Long age, women only did something in the kitchen or at home. Now many of them have serious jobs to serve for people. What men can do so can women.
With the changes in their social role, women's position in the family has been improved as well. Today in the family, the wife often lots her husband to do something at home bat ago, only women did something. Men are foned of doing something at home.
??In spite of these changes, the liberation of women has not been completely realized. Sometimes, the matter, the husband hitting has welf, often happened. In the factory the wonmen to as much as the men, but they are paid less than the men. Some people have not completely realized the liberation of women.
東方教育點評：條理不清，思路紊亂，大部分句子均有錯誤，有的甚至影響理解。具體問題剖析如下：
(1)缺乏邏輯，東一句西一句，沒有圍繞中心論述，如第一段就沒有展開論述婦女社會角色的轉變，說得太籠統而缺乏說服力。
（2）用漢語思維，句子有明顯的漢語痕跡，如"What men can do so can women."，應改為"Women can do what men can do"。
（3）銜接不自然，沒有用適當的關聯詞，如"Sometimes, the matter, the husband hitting has welf, often happened"，應改為"The case that husband hits his wife often happens. "
（4）拼寫錯誤很多，大部分句子均有錯誤。
例2．（5分段 ）
??Women are playing an increasingly important part in society today. In today, many women have a work. They worked as well as men playing an important part in factories. There are many women in government also. They lead other people country, and make out plans. There are many scientist slso. They event new things to improve our life.
??With the changes in their social role, women's position in the family has been improved as well. In ancient, women's position in family is pity. They had to looks after their children, did every how husband ordered her to do. But now it is changed. They are equal to her husband. They have the right of speaking of idea, discussion5 thing with her husband, do what she wants to do.
In spite of these changes, the liberation of women has not been completely realized. We also should realize, women' likerty are limited. For example, many factories want men become its workers but the chance of women is less than men. Everyone should do their best to change this condition. I'm sure, the liberation of women would be increased.
東方教育點評：基本切題。但表達思想不清楚，連貫性差。有較多的嚴重語言錯誤。具體問題剖析：
（1）各段圍繞中心句論述不深入，沒有說服力。
（2）銜接不自然，沒有用適當的關聯詞，如第一段幾個句子之間可以用一些"besides"、"on the other hand"、"furthermore"、"in addition"等。
（3）語言錯誤較多，很多句子不通順，如"In today, many women have a work."應改為"Today, many women get a job."(濫用介詞)；"In ancient, women's position in family is pity"中pity應改為pitiful（詞形誤用）等有多處錯誤。
例3．（8分段）
??Women are playing an increasingly important part in society today. Many Women today are playing an important part at works6 that was thought only could be done by the men before. For an example. Some women are not secrtary in the office, instead, they become manager of a company.
??With the changes in their social role, women's position in the family has been improved as well. In the world today, more and more women have their own job. They get their own salary, and become more independent from their husband. With the economic situation improved, their family position is improving.
??In spite of these changes, the liberation of women has not been completely realized. Many husbands only want his wife to stay at home, and do house works or do some shopping. They only want their wife to be a housewife7, but not a manager of a company.
東方教育點評：基本切題。有些地方表達思想不夠清楚，文字勉強連貫；語言錯誤相當多，其中有一些是嚴重錯誤。具體問題剖析：
（1）論證不夠深入，缺少事例，缺少說服力。
（2）文字缺連貫、且顯累贅，如第二段可以把各句再改得簡練一點并且有適當的轉承詞。
（3）語言錯誤相當多，如"For an example"，"Some women are not secrtary in the office, instead, they become manager of a company."應改為"Some women are on longer secretaries in the office, instead, they become managers of the companies."（單復數）
例4．（11分段）
??Women are playing an increasingly important part in society today. More and more women go to work to earn money instead of keeping the house or looking after the children. Women have entered many fields of society including scientific field. As we know, many women sports teams have won the world's champions such as Chinese women's Volleyball Team.
??With the changes in their social role, women's position in the family has been improved as well. Husbands are not the masters of wives in many places. Husbands and wives are equal now. They join together to overcome difficulties8 and share happiness.
??In spite of these changes, the liberation of women has not been completely realized. Also in some places. Women are considered being "thing" belong to men. They have little chance to find jobs. They don't get equal pay for equal job. This is a problem must be solved not only by society but also by women themselves.
東方教育點評：切題。表達思想清楚，文字連貫，用詞比較準確，但有少量語言錯誤，如"Also in some places. Women are considered being "thing" belong to men"，應改為"Also in some places，women are considered being the "things"that belong to men"
例5．（14分段）
??Women are playing an increasingly important part in society today. In Many countries, more and more women are acting9 as workers, farmers, scientists and even leaders. We can say that almost all jobs which men can do are done perfectly10 by women. Women are no longer looked down upon by society.
??With the changes in their social role, women's position in the family has been improved as well. Husband and wife are now equal in the family. They cope11 with problems of daily life together, and share happiness with each ther. Also, you can hardly find out that in today's families, women are being busy with dinners, whereas12 men comfortably sitting in armchairs, reading newspapers.
??In spite of these changes, the liberation of women has not been completely realized. In spite of these changes, the liberation of women has not been completely realized. A number of men still jealously13 guard their rights, and regard women as incapable14 creature. Few women are allowed to attend important international meetings dominated15 by men. That's really the problems we should solve immediately.
專家點評：切題。論證充分，有說服力，論證手段豐富（舉例、正反）表達思想清楚，語言流暢，詞匯豐富，連貫性好。用詞準確，僅有個別小錯誤。
1 increasingly z8ix8
adv.逐漸地，日益地，逐漸增加地
參考例句：
Rivers are being increasingly made use of by man. 河流正在日益為人類所利用。
I find it increasingly difficult to live within my income.我發現靠收入過日子越來越難了。
2 spite uv7wD
n.（用于短語）雖然，不顧，盡管
參考例句：
He has modern ideas in spite of his great age.盡管他年事很高，但思想觀念卻很入時。
In spite of his anger,his remarks were restrained.他盡管生氣，說的話還是有節制的。
3 liberation 61SxI
n.解放，解放運動（為獲得平等權利和地位的行為）
參考例句：
We should help those who are still struggling for liberation.我們應當幫助那些仍在為獨立而斗爭的人們。
Many people died during famines every year before liberation.解放前每年有許多人在饑荒中死亡。
4 completely lvmzzZ
adv.完全地，十分地，全然
參考例句：
She never completely gave up hope.她從不完全放棄希望。
I feel completely in the dark on this question.這件事使我感到茫然。
5 discussion 2PBzj
n.討論，談論；論述
參考例句：
It is certain he will come to the discussion.他肯定會來參加討論。
After months of discussion,a peace agreement is gradually taking shape.經過幾個月的商討，和平協議漸漸有了眉目。
6 works ieuzIh
n.作品，著作；工廠，活動部件，機件
參考例句：
We expect writers to produce more and better works.我們期望作家們寫出更多更好的作品。
The novel is regarded as one of the classic works.這篇小說被公認為是最優秀的作品之一。
7 housewife 7c0xI
n.主婦，家庭主婦
參考例句：
The cleverest housewife can't cook a meal without rice.巧婦難為無米之炊。
She was a housewife of experience.她是一個有經驗的主婦。
8 difficulties b11a578a3831f34c2044c055223e93c4
n.困難( difficulty的名詞復數 )；難度；難事；麻煩
參考例句：
I am acutely aware of the difficulties we face. 我十分清楚我們面臨的困難。
the difficulties of English syntax 英語句法的難點
9 acting czRzoc
n.演戲，行為，假裝；adj.代理的，臨時的，演出用的
參考例句：
Ignore her,she's just acting.別理她，她只是假裝的。
During the seventies,her acting career was in eclipse.在七十年代，她的表演生涯黯然失色。
10 perfectly 8Mzxb
adv.完美地，無可非議地，徹底地
參考例句：
The witnesses were each perfectly certain of what they said.證人們個個對自己所說的話十分肯定。
Everything that we're doing is all perfectly above board.我們做的每件事情都是光明正大的。
11 cope aZhyU
v.(with)競爭，對抗；對付，妥善處理
參考例句：
He had a lot of work,but he was able to cope.他的活雖多，但還能應付得來。
They have to cope with a mountain of problems.他們得應付成堆的問題。
12 whereas XgQwB
conj.而，卻，反之
參考例句：
They want a house,whereas we would rather live in a flat.他們想要一座房子，而我們寧愿住在一套房間里。
Some praise him,whereas others condemn him.有些人贊揚他，而有些人譴責他。
13 jealously DqfzZl
ad.嫉妒的，猜疑的
參考例句：
A number of men still jealously guard their rights. 很多男人仍在謹慎地維護著他們特權。 來自英語晨讀30分（高二）
His jealously guarded secret was soon common property. 他小心翼翼保守的秘密很快就成為眾所皆知之事。
14 incapable w9ZxK
adj.無能力的，不能做某事的
參考例句：
He would be incapable of committing such a cruel deed.他不會做出這么殘忍的事。
Computers are incapable of creative thought.計算機不會創造性地思維。
15 dominated 334b534a2e3ae8d7b66f1cbabd9888b2
受控的 -tive
參考例句：
As a child he was dominated by his father. 他小時候由父親主宰一切。
His personality dominated over the other members of the committee. 他的人格影響委員會的其他成員。
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